DOSE:

2.5 g

oral

Mushrooms

To preface this account, I’d like to give a brief background on myself and my drug experiences. At the time of this experience, I had been smoking cannabis daily for about 2 months. I smoked every day for about 3 years when I was a teenager but I quit for a long time for job-related reasons. I had my first experience with mushrooms a few months before this, and I had an experience in August, a month before this occurred, that was absolutely amazing and life-changing. I assumed this trip would be much the same. And it was, in a different sense. I had an eighth, but only intended to eat around half of it. I ended up eating more than half on a whim. This was a new strain of mushroom to me, as I had been eating off of the same batch I got in July.

So to get started, it was a beautiful Saturday morning, and it was just me and my mom. My girlfriend was out of town, and we had been fighting so I was glad she was gone. We had an eighth each, she was gonna eat the whole eighth and I would eat half of mine. I have a lower tolerance to every substance except alcohol and nicotine it seems. I ended up eating a little over half because I just felt like it. It was 8-something in the morning when we ingested it. I remained pretty optimistic at the beginning and pretty excited, but also pretty bored. I noticed before I even began to feel effects that I had no purpose of tripping, and that I should’ve probably dosed a little lower. But I knew it was too late for that, and I was prepared for whatever would come. At least that’s what I told myself.

I began to feel the effects much quicker than expected. Within 15 minutes I’d say. This started a little anxiety swelling within me, and I decided at that point to take a shower. In the shower is where things began to go downhill. It looked like the bottom of the shower had thousands of little holes in it, and at first I was humored by this observation, but the humor quickly turned to fear as I realized I was only 20-30 minutes into this trip and I was already tripping balls. I began to panic and raced out of the shower, getting water all over the floor. I grabbed a towel, went to my room, and hastily got dressed. I paced back and forth in my room, trying to think of what to do. I decided to go back outside with my mom, which I hoped would ground me and give me some semblance of reality.

Back outside with my mom, I began to panic even more. She said she wasn’t feeling it quite yet and I began to feel ashamed. I didn’t know what to talk about and I began to feel awkward as I stood there silent with my mind racing. I told her I was gonna go wash my truck (no idea why that was what I defaulted to in my panicky state). I went out front and started playing music and washing my truck. The grass in the front yard had patterns resembling doilies, which is a familiar hallucination that happens to me every time I take mushrooms. Everything also seemed to have a purple hue, and the water was taking on a whole other physical form it seemed like (hard to describe, it looked like paper). I was having a pretty good time. I was listening to DJ Sammy’s remix of Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” when things turned south (I’m never listening to that intoxicated again). I decided I didn’t wanna wash my truck or listen to music, as I was rapidly losing my grip on reality. I put the hose down, and began to take a walk. I got very nervous a few minutes into my walk though about getting lost and not being able to find my way home, so I turned around and went back.

At this point, I began nervously pacing all around my yard. I was beginning to have tears in my eyes. I bit my lip multiple times and picked at my skin as I felt multiple parts of my body go numb. I felt completely alien. I felt “earthy”. I felt like I was part of the earth, and not a conscious human being. I began frantically texting my friend, who we will call D. D was the one who happened to have given me these mushrooms. Thankfully, he was awake. And at first I was seeking his counsel only to calm down. I think it was around 9:30 - 45am when this was occurring. I began freaking out more and more and eventually asked if he would just come and be with me and tripsit me as I was having concerns of what I may do in this near-psychotic state. He happily obliged, and was over within minutes.

When he pulled up, I was spraying myself in the face with the garden hose I was using to wash my truck. This brought me a semblance of reality. The gulps for air and feeling like I was drowning reminded me that I was a human with human needs and instincts. When I saw him pull up, I tried to play off my anxiety and greeted him as if I was sober. But looking back on it, it wouldn't have been hard to tell I was off my rocker, with grass all over my body, a bleeding lip, and completely drenched in water.

Soon after he arrived, I began another bout of rounding the house. I have no idea how many times we walked around the house or what we talked about. I know I kept forgetting he was there, and being surprised multiple times when I looked over and saw him. I felt completely alien. Nothing looked very familiar and I felt like I was a plant trapped in the dirt with nowhere to go. I wasn’t having super intense visuals, but I kept seeing the trees and the grass take on anthropomorphic forms. I saw judging, ancient faces in the trees. Twisted smiles in the grass. It felt comforting and familiar, and at the same time equally terrifying and ghastly. I got nauseous and gagged multiple times, but never threw up. At one point during one of our rounds, I began to spray myself in the face again. D sat down and smoked a bowl and let me do my thing for the time being, seeing as he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to stop me at that point. During that ordeal, I think I began to peak. I completely began losing grip on reality. I couldn’t feel myself. I couldn’t remember where I was. I looked at D and it looked like he faded into the wall. I screamed his name and began breathing heavily. I saw my neighbors across the street and began to feel sad. They were outside with their kids trying to have a nice Saturday, and here I was acting like a lunatic and screaming. I began to feel worthless and insignificant. D told me to come and sit down with him but I refused. If I would’ve just sat down with him, I truly believe the trip would’ve ended up being very differently.

Before long, we began walking again. Time was a meaningless construct at this point but I believe it was an hour and a half to two hours in. Eventually, after dry heaving multiple more times, and getting surprised D was there a dozen more times, I finally sat down. I began to calm down, but I was still tripping. Everything I touched, it felt like my hands became a part of it. They were no longer mine, only an extension of whatever I touched. I saw ants crawling on the concrete, but then a sort of ocean wave would come over the concrete and the ants would be gone. I have no idea if they were actually there or not. I was being very vulnerable with D at this point. I began discussing suicidal thoughts, and my recent depression and relationship troubles. At that moment, I was so glad he was there. At a few points I even began laughing and joking.

After the therapy session, I went inside to piss. I checked in on my mom, who was also tripping very heavily. I felt bad for leaving her behind in my crazed panicky state. But she said she was okay and I went back outside. Stepping back outside began the amazing last 45 minutes to an hour of the trip. The visuals when I went outside were intense, but no longer pareidolia themed terror. They were absolutely incredible. Bright, and vibrant. I felt an intense wave of joy come over me and I began to smile and laugh. This was the general theme for the remaining time of the trip. As I came down, I felt like I did the last time I had mushrooms, a pure peace that washed over me. It felt like I had been swimming on a hot summer day as a kid. I was worn out, but full of serotonin. I felt nostalgic. I felt relieved. But in the end, I still felt anxious.

I would try eating a half a gram 2 weeks after this and even had a panic attack then on that low of a dose. I have never been the same since. I’ve had increased social anxiety, occasional paranoia, and what I believe is a mild form of HPPD with constant light tracers, afterimages, visual snow, and noticing geometric patterns in places (though upon closer examination, they always actually exist, so it’s not actually a hallucination). I try my best to just suck it up and live my life though. I’ve been too fearful to touch it since. It’s all but ruined cannabis highs for me. I still try to smoke but sometimes I get sent into a full blown panic attack complimented by complex geometry and pareidolia. I have a certain fear of developing schizophrenia, which I know isn’t very likely, but still not off the table. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Peace and love to all of y’all.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 117522
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Apr 7, 2025	Views: 15
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