DOSE:

3.5 g

oral

Mushrooms

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

Some background: This trip was not only my first shroom experience but also my first and only drug experience. I have several friends who use drugs, including shrooms, for fun. I wasn't looking for fun, I was looking for answers. I was led to try shrooms because I have read bout them as a spiritual tool, a tool that connects the mind to a higher realm.

Anyway, I had expressed my desire to try shrooms to my friends. They all warned against it; they said I wasn't ready for it yet. They also gave me all the same first-trip advice that I had already read about on the Internet. I decided to ignore all the advice and do as I please. They also suggested that I needed to try other things first, like weed. Weed might be a gateway drug, but I need not use the Gate to enter the Realm.

On Christmas Eve, my luck came through, and I acquired 3.5g of high quality shrooms. I took it back to my apartment, where I lived alone. That evening, at 8pm, I ate a little hummus and pita, drank some orange juice, and took the shrooms. I then proceeded to turn off all my lights, close all my shades so I could barely see at all, strip down to my underwear, and lay in the middle of a giant beanbag with only a sheet over my body. The beanbag was special; I chose it about a month earlier for this purpose. It's just the right size that when I lay in it, it forms a deep bowl around me as I sink down into the middle. The only way to get out is to climb out.

The only things I had with me in the beanbag were my ipod, my cell phone, and my glasses; I left my glasses and phone up on the 'lip' of the beanbag, just barely within reach. I was listening to some music while waiting to come up. Around 8:25, or T+0.4h, I started to feel nervous and I wanted the music to stop. I turned it off and pushed my ipod over the lip and out of the beanbag entirely.

As I laid there in silence, I became increasingly nervous. At 8:30, or T+0.5h, a friend called. I told him that I was a half-hour in and felt a little anxious; I asked him to call me in an hour and then I hung up. After I hung up, I started to get really anxious, then I started to wonder whether taking this trip was a mistake. My fear expanded as I started to contemplate the idea of calling someone for help. I started wondering: What will happen when the 'wrong people' find out what I was doing? How am I ever going to explain my decision? What will my family think when they find out? How can I make this end?

The last question came with an immediate answer. I had this feeling that all those thoughts were like an object, a 'thing', that I could push away. As soon as I pushed those thoughts away, I saw a set of concentric rings. The rings seemed to be spinning and shifting, but without really moving. Then the center turned yellow while the periphery turned blue-green. The rings became an alien presence; the yellow center came toward me, extending like the tip of a cone pointed directly at my face. The alien presence wanted to either communicate with me or suck me in. As the center of the rings came toward me, I got nervous again, and then I mentally pushed the whole thing away.

As I looked around me in the darkness, I could see the ceiling, one wall, and the sides of my beanbag. But I was seeing reflections of everything, it felt like I was seeing in triplicate. Then I felt that I needed to turn from my back to lay on my side, but I couldn't seem to turn my body. I imagined a team of people trying to roll me over, and managed to work up the energy to turn onto my side.

I started to feel extremely happy. I felt like I was smiling beyond the physical limits of my face, and then I felt my face was coated in multi-colored gold like a burial mask. And the colors were changing and shifting. And I was covered in sweat. I felt my hands and feet turn into flippers. And then I felt like I was a platypus. I heard a buzzing sound from my nose, and then I felt like a bee. I felt my sweat, and my sweat turned into goo, and the sheet I had over me became a membrane. My breathing felt like some kind of visceral pumping. For a moment I was an embryo, and then I became an amoeba, an extremely happy amoeba. And then I became ... nothing. Nothing, inside of an empty void. I felt scared and yet not scared. I attempted to mentally talk to myself; the words were seemingly there and yet they weren't there. I tried to remind myself that it's only a trip, but all I got was the vague sense of something spinning.

It's a black hole ... I'm inside it ... There's nothing ... I'm nothing ... But ... it's ... only ... a ... trip ... But nothing is nothing, and I am nothing ... But ... I'm ... only ... making ... it ... exist ... It's ... only ... me ... I ... am ... I ... I am I! That's all there is. Just a self-aware construct and a void. That's all I am. Just a self-aware construct in a void.

The next thing I remember is 'waking up' feeling dizzy and feeling the need to urinate. I checked my cell phone; it was now 9:30, or T+1.5h. I attempted to get up out of the beanbag, but found that I could barely even sit up. I forced myself to sit up, and I felt the entire world spinning and distorted, and I fell back down. I tried harder to sit up. This time I sat up, and I got so dizzy I almost puked. I didn't puke, but I did cough, and it felt like my mouth was expanding wider than my face while my insides exploded outward. And then I laid back down. No, in fact I did not puke and my friend didn't call me back.

After I laid back down, I was approached by two figures. The figures had rigid cement heads and flowing dark-blue capes, and they faded in while approaching from far away. The figures asked me, 'do you believe in god', and two things happened at the same time. I was scared and I told them 'I'll believe whatever you want', but at the same time I was confident and I thought 'I'm free to lie to them and trick them any way I like in order to satisfy them'. The two figures receded into the distance and faded out.

Of what happened next, all I have are several 'clips' of memory. In one clip, I remember I rubbed my face and saw my hand spin. My spinning hand turned into a triangular window, everything shrank as if the window had a fish eye lens in it, and then I was inside a space probe looking out the window. In another clip, I remember being inside a giant 3D computer. In another clip, I saw my arms; they became very large and very small, they became multiplied, they got very weird.

Now I'm laying in an infinite honeycomb. There's a clone of me in every cell of the honeycomb, and we are all beating and chanting 'I am I!' in perfect synchronism. I am in every cell of the honeycomb, and yet I knew which cell is the one I physically occupy. We are all extremely happy, and the chanting lasts forever.

For a second time, the next thing I remember is 'waking up' in the beanbag. I was hot, sweaty, hungry, extremely thirsty, and I really had to urinate badly. I also felt too tired and disoriented to even attempt to sit up. According to my cell phone, it was now 10:30, or T+2.5h. I had to urinate so badly that I actually considered wetting myself; I decided to hold it in. As I laid there, I had to continuously remind myself that this was only a trip, that it would all be over soon. I was checking the time every few minutes, time seemed to pass quickly and this helped me stay calm. My last time check was about 12:00, or T+4h, which means I spent an hour and a half just laying there, suffering, and trying to pass the time.

I woke up, for the third time. I jumped and climbed out of the beanbag and ran to the bathroom. Everything was spinning, but it wasn't that bad, and I could keep my balance. I felt like I was urinating forever. Also, I did not miss the toilet. I then ran to the kitchen sink to drink some water. My first attempt failed: I only got a little bit of water in my cup and then I spilled it on myself. My mind was racing and I had to concentrate and focus my thoughts to slow myself enough to fill the cup and drink it. I pulled a cup of yogurt out of the fridge, but I couldn't get it open and actually started to panic. Again, I slowed myself and got it open. I ate one spoon-full of yogurt. The sensation of food in my mouth was overwhelming, almost sickening. I managed to swallow that one spoon of yogurt and I put the rest of it back in the fridge. I checked my phone, the time was around 1:00, or T+5h.

I laid down in the beanbag and fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later. The trip was over now. Ate, showered, and went back to sleep for most of Christmas day.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 68658
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 4, 2025	Views: 41
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